So, we are super duper lucky to have with us today one of the most massive car-throwing, god-smashing, high-jumping, clothes-tearing muscled mayhem of all time, the Incredible Hulk! Now, all of you guys are probably dying to ask Mr Hulk, “How can I get as huge and ripped as you?!”. Well, wait no more, guys, cause today, you will know the answer!
Me: Great to have you here today, Mr Hulk. So sorry that you have to sit on the ground. We have tried our best to find a chair you wouldn’t crush, but Magneto stole all our adamantium chairs.
The Incredible Hulk: Me no mind.
Me: So Mr Hulk, what are your stats?
The Incredible Hulk: Me is nyan feet tall, one thousand and nyanty pounds. Me lost weight after joining Avengers. Fighting baddies very catabolic.
Me: Ahh… I see. I see. I recommend you take BCAA the next time you go into battle. It really works. Mix the whole bottle withh.. ah screw it, you can just eat the whole damn thing. Anyway, let’s move on. Tell us, what workout plan helped form your 100% fat-free, beyond perfect, all chiseled tank of a body?
The Incredible Hulk: Mondays, me smash cars and bench press lorries. Wednesdays, me jump across deserts. Fridays, me throw tanks. Sundays, me Hulk Smash!
Me: Uh huh! So that’s your secret workout! There you go guys! What are you waiting for? Time to hit the gym… err, I mean scrap metal junkyard and deserts. Okay, so let’s move on to diet. What does your diet consist of?
The Incredible Hulk: Chicken, oatmeal, almonds, beef.
Me: Oh hey!! That’s what I eat! What a coincidence!! But how come I’m not as big as you? I eat a pound of chicken a day, half a pound of oatmeal and a handful of almonds. How about you?
The Incredible Hulk: Me eat five chickens, one acre oatmeal farm, one almond tree and a cow day.
Me: I knew it! I must increase my food intake from now onwards! How about supplements? You take any of those?
The Incredible Hulk: One scoop of Gamma Ray every morning and before sleeping.
Me: Ahhh… nice. And which brand is that supplement under?
The Incredible Hulk: Stark Industries.
Me: Hmmm… I wonder if they sell it here in Singapore. Lastly, do you have any advice for our readers?
The Incredible Hulk: Wear very loose and stretchable pants when you train. Train with rage.
Me: Thanks for that, Mr Hulk! And something just popped into my mind. Erm… hope you don’t mind me asking… but… do you like, erm… take any… steroids?
The Incredible Hulk: Steroids? Me no take steroids. Steroids for sissies, like Craptain America.
Me: Wow! So you’re all natural! See guys, who says you have to resort to steroids to obtain a body like that? So Mr Hulk, how could your fans get in touch with you? Or perhaps, approach you for personal training?
The Incredible Hulk: Add me on Facebook.
Note: Please don’t give Mr Hulk’s diet and training a try. You might not survive. For a real and effective workout and diet plan, click here!